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What Are You Thinking?


Carmel, California

Treat Others the Way You Would Like to Be Treated.

This is the Golden Rule.  A guiding compass taught to children and quite possibly the mantra that you choose to live by as an adult.  Most of us are particularly careful about what we say to others since we do not want to offend, hurt their feelings or “be mean” to another person.   Ironically, the opposite can be true when you speak to yourself and you may not even realize it.  Today I want to explore how you are treating yourself.

I commonly hear people beat themselves up with their words.  What you are saying may seem harmless to you until you reflect on the subtle message behind the words.   The negativity of disparaging remarks adds up and detracts from your life.  Words are powerful and full of energy.  The negative self talk habit can be so engrained in your being that you don’t even notice when you do it.

Imagine that you can’t find your keys and bark at yourself, “I am such an idiot.  What did I do with them this time”.  It is understandable that you wish the situation were different, yet there are kinder more productive words that would help you feel less frustated and help you to not repeat what just happened.  If they are not coming to you immediately, I would suggest thinking of what you might say to a friend in the same situation.  Intuitively this may seems odd but we are usually kinder to others than to ourselves.

Whey you pay attention to the overall messages you are sending yourself with your word selection you may be surprised.  Here are a few examples of the messages that you may be unknowingly be delivering…

  • I am stupid. 
  • I am not worthy of being heard.
  • I am unlovable.
  • I  do not deserve.
  • I am broken.
  • I am not capable.
  • It is too late for me.
  • Who do I think I am?

No matter what words you choose if the underlying message resembles any of the thoughts above,YOU are chipping away at your self esteem.  Simply uttering these words brings your energy down.  Even though it is common to be hard on yourself,  it does not mean it is helpful or necessary.  Make no mistake, negative self talk is a choice.  You can continue to sabotage yourself in this way or make a conscious choice to tweak your words.

In an effort to help keep this top of mind, I would like to slightly tweak the Golden Rule

Treat YOURSELF and Others the Way You Would Like to Be Treated.

What would the world be like if we were all kinder to ourselves?  How would it change your day to day life if you started to speak to yourself in a kinder and more supportive way?  Check out the tips below and feel the difference.


Action Ideas & Tips ~

Breaking a Negative Self Talk Habit Starts with AWARENESS

Start listening to what you say to yourself through both your external and internal dialogue.  Pay particular attention to the internal voice that is constantly speaking in your head.  It may be helpful to recruit the help of those who are closest too you.  Simply ask them to raise your awareness by letting you know when they hear your speaking about yourself negatively.  

Next Step is to Choose New Words.

Once you have noticed when you are saying something negative or unloving to yourself, then start replacing your traditional words with kinder, more supportive and productive words.  A simple tweak to verbiage can make all of the difference in your energy and your self esteem.

 Treating yourself better does not require any additional time and the benefits are priceless!

Something to Think About ~

I wake up every morning, look in the mirror and ask myself, “If I were to die today would I be satisfied with my life?” If the answer is no too many days in a row I make changes. ~ Steve Jobs

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